Today, Is my wedding day.

Today. I marry my other half.

(Insert the “Wait, I thought you were married?” and “I didn’t know that you were getting married!?” and “It’s about time” lines here..)

Yup, today is my wedding day. Which is totally fucking awesome.. but lets be real here- we’ve been married. 😆

Gol-lee, what a journey it has been up till this point. I will take you through a quick abbreviated version of that journey….

2007– Is when it all started… My pick-up line was “You need help with that?” as Jared stood off the back of our boat and peed into the lake. (As my current boyfriend sat there in the passenger seat.) Yup, sorry Mom & Dad.

I had always wanted that (in my eyes) “big bad Jared Jordan” boy who spanked all the other boys in the mini class. He was so bad, and I knew it, but told myself that if I could just once get my hands on him I would take advantage of it.. Well, that opportunity came closer and closer as he and his friend came to our house one summer. Then when he came back a second time the next summer- gosh I don’t even know why.. I took that as another opportunity to weasel my way into GF status.

2008– Long story short- I hooked him. And I was shocked for about a whole year that it was actually real.. Then I settled in. I definitely calmed that boy down, and continue to every day. 😆

Now keep in mind- I’m 15 and he’s 17. No way did I ever really imagine he was going to be my husband someday, even though he told me (and my dad) so. My dad- did.not. like him. I could see that he wanted to, but boy did he smell trouble. Jared and dad would get into arguments.. I would be torn between who to side with.. it was a rough start.

2009– I don’t remember too much about this year. We still lived 206 miles apart. ( Jared got more speeding tickets in those first years than anyone should get in a lifetime.😳😬) We raced almost every weekend. And it was the year my sweet nephew, Treyson, was born. April 13 – April 21st. I was heart broken, mostly to see the hurt in my brother and his soon-to-be wife’s eyes. I will never forget the look on Sarah’s face as she had to fill out the paperwork at the funeral home. Absolutely heartbreaking.

2010– I graduated high school a year early. Jared decided he was going to ride bulls. (Yup more on that later..) We got a puppy together. (Kaine) And later that year Jared moved to MA to live with me at my parents house. Meanwhile, my grandfather went downhill FAST. My family was there at the very end. The day that Jared wiped my dying grandfathers ass, was the day I seen Dad really changed his mind about Jared. TODAY, I swear to god he would choose Jared over me. Hands down. 😂

2011 / 2012– Back to the bull riding…🤦🏼‍♀️ I had no idea why in the f*ck this was a thing.. like seriously. Who in their right mind… anyways.. I wasn’t happy about it. Jared told me he was going to be a professional bull rider. I packed his shit up, and left it at the gate of the farm he was riding at. I was not going to watch him get killed by a bull. He quickly realized that he was heading down the wrong path. Jared and I moved out of my parents house and into one of their apartments. We were still chasing the races, traveling almost every weekend up and down the East Coast with my dad, brother, and his wife. I was going to school for exercise science, knowing that one day I was going to open my own fitness studio. Then… I (2011) dragged Jare into our local CrossFit. We both thought we were fit….😂. I quickly changed my mind about school and fitness studios.. and was dead set on opening a CF affiliate. During this time I was also taking care of my grandmother, after Grandad passed. She too was going downhill fast. I was her primary caregiver and spent every day with her. She was a blast. I miss her everyday. She would always try to “steal” Jared from me, saying that “if only I was younger”. She loved him. She passed away in November of 2012. (I wish she could have held Jax, just once.)

2013– How did we end up in NY? We broke up. One of the 100’s of times.. or so it seemed. This one was a bad one though, and Jared actually moved home. We were young, (still are🙄) and crazy emotional. I remember waking up to his stuff gone, and calling Dad at 4am to come watch the dogs, because I was NOT letting go. My gut told me that if I didn’t chase him down, I would regret it for the rest of my life- and boy would that have been the truth!! I moved to NY and shortly there after (after REALLY hating working FOR someone) we ventured into opening CFI. We had started planning it before we moved to NY, but It was going to be in AL. We actually even had our affiliation letter approved before moving to NY.

2014– We opened doors at CFI, got engaged, and was also the year Jare had his accident racing in South Carolina. (I stopped racing in 2012?, but Jare continued.) A bad concussion really messed him up for years afterwards. Depression amongst many other symptoms swept through him, and our relationship. Boy it was tough those first years as business owners and dealing with the effects of a brain injury.

2015-We continued to fight like little kids. Then we had a kid. 🤷🏼‍♀️ No, Jax wasn’t an accident. He wasn’t planned either. We were fully aware that no BC = baby, at some point. I actually was beginning to think I was “broken” and couldn’t have kids… then the week we moved into our new location for CFI, we found out I was pregnant.

2016– That year was hard on Jare, I didn’t do a damn thing at our business, pregnancy took my brain for SURE. When Jax was born, it took a toll on us, mom and dad life was more than we were ready for. Jare was trying to run a growing business by himself, and I was staying home with a baby who did.not.sleep.ever.

An affair took us over. I knew it was happening but didn’t want to admit it. It was by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through. But I did. We did. It made us stronger than ever. Today, I am thankful for it. It has shaped a lot of who I am today. I am a much better, stronger, confident, grounded, woman than ever before. I don’t however, wish it upon anyone. I have forgiven, not forgotten.

2017– Next came Jareds brilliant idea to get back into racing. I wasn’t happy, but I made the decision to support him regardless. At his very first race back, he had his second accident. He hit his head again, in the exact same spot. Broke his helmet, and was unconscious for who knows how long. As I wrote in my last blog.. 

There is not one single doubt in my mind, that he should have left Jax and I that day. Something….someone….put him back on this earth. Call me crazy, I would have prior to experiencing this. But I’m telling you with 100% certainty. That event changed our lives forever.

That day was also a huge turning point in our lives. Probably the biggest. Extreme love & gratitude swept through our family, as well as a belief in something greater than us.

That was when we started really working on our relationship- nurturing it and feeding it. Trying new things, listening and learning from podcasts, reading books about how to be better humans, etc. We finally really started working as a team, and pushing each other toward the best versions of ourselves.

2018– Was a fantastic year. (Other than loosing Klutch and Stella.🐶) I was 100% fixated on getting our mortgage to go through so we could start building our home. After tons of monkeying around, it went through and we broke ground in October. Jared was the absolute best through building, he knew enough to get out of my way and say “whatever you want honey” whenever I asked him about a faucet, light fixture, or which rug to put where. After all, he really doesn’t care about what is where or how or when, but I DO!

2019– We moved into our home!!! And 3? mornings later, I was on a plane to CA because my brother had been paralyzed.😳 Because of the newfound faith in our lives, Jared was able to hang up the phone with Trev, as he was laying in the desert unable to move, and look me in the eye and say “he is going to be okay. Regardless”. I knew it too, but I knew my parents didn’t. I needed to be there for them, so I flew to CA. However, it didn’t make it any less sad. Oh- and when I got back from CA, I was informed that we were to get married the next weekend, and we had a honeymoon trip the next day. 😳 Yup, Jared planned a surprise wedding for us. He knew that if he didn’t just do it, that I would put it off forever. I just didn’t want the stress of one🤷🏼‍♀️. He planned EVERYTHING. I couldn’t go through with it without my family involved, so we rescheduled it. Today I wear the dress HE picked out and bought for me. My girls wear the dresses he bought for them. And we have the people that he invited. It will be small, super unorganized, and just the way we want it.

So … After all that, let’s talk reality. We actually have had more bad times than good for the first 9(?) years that we were together. Or I should say more rocky times than good streaks. Why on earth are we still together!?!? Something deep inside me, from the very beginning, has told me that we are what’s best for each other. As you can see from above, things have come a long long way. We have had one hell of a rollercoaster ride. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. The bumpy ride makes the present day so much sweeter. We are without a doubt totally different people than we were even 3 years ago. I am extremely proud of the growth that has happened individually and together for Jared and I.

Jared and I have been engaged for over 5 years, together for over 11. We’re not married. And I’m SO glad we’re not. Yet. Looking back, if we would have gotten married 4/5 years ago, we would have never gotten the opportunity to truly feel what a wedding (i think) should feel like.

Life has changed so much for us, we are completely different people than we were when we met. Completely. Things are much much better, happier, united. That doesn’t mean we don’t fight. We do. And if anyone pretends like their life is rainbows and sunshine 24/7- I don’t trust them. Things aren’t easy. We work hard at our relationship.

Jare asked me the other day if I was excited to get married… Yes, and no. I am not excited to “get married” …I am excited to be married to my absolute rock. The person who pushes me to be my best. The person who was absolutely placed on this earth for me.

Jare, I am proud and extremely blessed to be your wife.